I think Kyu was completely and totally born to be your son, dude. Seriously and 100%. Since the first picture.
My sister and I talk a lot about constitutions and genetics and things - how she and I weathered some Crazy Shit as kids fairly well but, say, Isaac has a very hard time with daily life in a loving family - her hypothesis is that kids choose the right families to be born into, "for them". And sometimes I think she is on to something.
On a less sentimental note, as the practical person I can sometimes be, I see it like this: Kyu probably did have a pretty hard time not having a familiar smelling mom with a familiar sounding heartbeat around to slip him a titty in those early weeks. And it was probably really rough to deal with being transferred to foster care, or realizing you and Kris weren't taking him back to the foster care he'd gotten used to. But that's the beginning of the story, not the end of it. Part of the rest involves how deeply those foster peeps truly cared for him, and how you two are bending over backwards to "attach", and are giving him what I really see as an amazing life and family. He even came to you well before his first birthday, giving you the majority of that zero to three period still there for molding and shaping securities and trust. Nobody's life is perfect; everybody has challenges to overcome. If the worst of Kyu's have already passed, he's got it pretty damned good.
I am sitting here wondering how I can sincerely mean this and yet not apply it to my own life and family. I think it is about how you and Kris have done nothing but give a child who needed one a loving and thoughtful home, whereas I was actually an ignorant fool allowing harmful things to befall my babies. For instance, with Elise, I really did everything I could and fluke, unforseeable crap really mandated the c/s and medical care really saved her life. So I can feel about her, like I do about Kyu, and be at peace with it for the most part.
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I think Kyu was completely and totally born to be your son, dude. Seriously and 100%. Since the first picture.
My sister and I talk a lot about constitutions and genetics and things - how she and I weathered some Crazy Shit as kids fairly well but, say, Isaac has a very hard time with daily life in a loving family - her hypothesis is that kids choose the right families to be born into, "for them". And sometimes I think she is on to something.
On a less sentimental note, as the practical person I can sometimes be, I see it like this: Kyu probably did have a pretty hard time not having a familiar smelling mom with a familiar sounding heartbeat around to slip him a titty in those early weeks. And it was probably really rough to deal with being transferred to foster care, or realizing you and Kris weren't taking him back to the foster care he'd gotten used to. But that's the beginning of the story, not the end of it. Part of the rest involves how deeply those foster peeps truly cared for him, and how you two are bending over backwards to "attach", and are giving him what I really see as an amazing life and family. He even came to you well before his first birthday, giving you the majority of that zero to three period still there for molding and shaping securities and trust. Nobody's life is perfect; everybody has challenges to overcome. If the worst of Kyu's have already passed, he's got it pretty damned good.
I am sitting here wondering how I can sincerely mean this and yet not apply it to my own life and family. I think it is about how you and Kris have done nothing but give a child who needed one a loving and thoughtful home, whereas I was actually an ignorant fool allowing harmful things to befall my babies. For instance, with Elise, I really did everything I could and fluke, unforseeable crap really mandated the c/s and medical care really saved her life. So I can feel about her, like I do about Kyu, and be at peace with it for the most part.